Lesbians are officially added to the list of people who are eligible to get fucked by child support laws..

Here’s an article about new laws in California.
One lady was ordered to pay Child Support for her lesbian partner’s biological child.

This is a picture of the child’s biological father hiding in the back of the courtroom.

Here’s the Article from CNN

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/08/23/lesbian.parents.ap/index.html

Court: Gay parents must pay child support

SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) — In the latest ruling to recognize rights of same-sex couples, the California Supreme Court has said gay and lesbian couples who raise children are lawful parents and must provide for their children if they break up.

The state’s custody and child support laws that hold absent fathers accountable also apply to estranged gay and lesbian couples who used reproductive science to conceive, the high court ruled Monday.

Being a legal parent “brings with it the benefits as well as the responsibilities,” said Justice Joyce Kennard.

The decision comes a month after the justices ruled that a California domestic partner law grants gays and lesbians who register with the state many of the same rights as married couples, but does not allow them to marry.

“The court is now protecting the children of same sex parents in gay families in the same way children are protected with heterosexual couples in heterosexual families,” said Jill Hersh, who argued the case of a Marin County woman who was granted the right to be the second mother of twins after the birth mother moved out of state.

However, groups opposing gay marriage decried the justices’ actions.

“Today’s ruling defies logic and common sense by saying that children can have two moms,” said attorney Mathew Staver of Liberty Counsel. “That policy establishes that moms and dads as a unit are irrelevant when it comes to raising children.”

The ruling stemmed from three cases involving lesbian parents.

In the Marin County case, the court gave parental rights to Hersh’s client, who had donated her eggs to her lesbian lover. The partner then had twins. After the couple split up, a lower court said the egg donor was not a legal parent because she did not give birth.

Lower courts and dissenting justices noted the woman, K.M., voluntarily signed a document declaring her intention not to become a parent of any resulting children, and should not be granted parental status.

But Justice Carlos Moreno, writing for the 4-2 majority, said a woman who supplies eggs to help impregnate her lesbian partner, with the understanding the child will be raised in their home, cannot evade her responsibility to that child.

In the other cases, an El Dorado County woman was ordered to pay child support for her former lesbian partner’s biological children, and a woman from Los Angeles was told she could not legally terminate the parental rights of her former lesbian lover, years after obtaining a court order stipulating both were parents.

Both cases were decided unanimously.

Emily B., the El Dorado County woman whose former lover, Elisa B., must now pay to support the children, said she might be able to get off of welfare now.

“I’m absolutely overjoyed today,” she said.

The court followed its 2002 decision in which it said men who establish themselves as parental figures may become legal fathers even if they did not help conceive the child.

“These legal principles apply with equal force in this case,” Kennard wrote in a concurring opinion in the Marin County case.

In a sign of the broad acceptance same-sex parents have in California, the state attorney general’s office supported the women who had asked the justices for an updated interpretation of the state’s parental rights laws. Several child-advocacy organizations filed friend-of-the-court briefs taking the same side.

Copyright 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Posted by Pimpanese as Current Affairs at 3:13 AM GMT

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The Mad Real World Cast on THE FAMILY DUEL

Bob Ratchet: Hi gang this is Bob Ratchet & your watching THE FAMILY DUEL where usually 2 families duke it out but this week is reality Week & we have here with us the gang from THE MAD REAL WORLD & The regular guys from Joe Regular. So first let’s meet the MAD REAL WORLD.
Bob: This is Tron. Tron tell us a little about yourself & who you brought with you.
Tron: I’m MothaFuckin Tron from the Ave Biyach A hustler with tha ol Gangsta lean… To the right of me
Bob: That’s your left Tron
Tron: To the left of me Chuck
Bob: That’s BOB, Tron…
Tron: I got that Nigga Tyree, his boy Lysol couldn’t be here tonight cause he got locked up so we brought Katie instead. Then we got Fayze who got’s a special this week if you see him on the Ave, & say you saw him on TV. And that fat white boy at the end is Chad. They made us bring his fat azz with us.

(Shot To the buzzer Tron, Bob, & one of the contestants from the other side)
Bob: We asked 100 people in the hood what did you first notice about your current girlfriend?
BUZZZZ
Bob: Tron your answer please
Tron: THAT FAT AZZ
Bob (Looking down + shaking his head): The eh… ass. ITS THE NO 1 ANSWER!!!!

(Cut to Fayze + Bob)
Bob: Now we asked 100 little girls in the suburbs what do you want for Christmas?
Fayze: I don’t know .. A Blunt?
Bob: Survey says…. X
Bob: Chad we asked 100 little girls in the suburbs what do you want for Christmas?
Chad: My little Pony?
Tyree: Your little wha??
Bob: Show me My little Pony… XX
Bob: OK Tron, same question we asked 100 little girls in the suburbs what do you want for Christmas?
Tron: Some Motha Fuckin Black D!CK!!!!!
Bob (looking down in disgust): Survey says… XXX
Bob: (standing in front of Tron) Now it’s time for a commercial, people at home we’ll be right back
Tron (grabbing his mic): & PEOPLE AT HOME SUCK MY NU…..

(Cut to Bob)
Bob: Let’s see what the answers were. We asked 100 kids from the hood what do you want to be when you grow up.
Bob: Number 5
Audience: A Rapper!!
Bob: Number 3
Audience: Over 21!!!
Bob: And the number 1 answer was????
Audience: A mothafuckin P.I.M.P
Tron: See I told you mothafuckas

(Cut to Bob & Chad)
Bob: Now Chad get this right & The Mad Real World wins the game
Tyree: Get it wrong & it’s your AZZ!!!
Bob: We’re looking for the number 5 answer, we asked 100 people what the best thing to do when you lock your keys in your car?
Tron: What did we tell you to do when we stole your keys to your car & came back & forget them in the car?
Chad: Call Dee from up the street?
Bob: Survey Says???
Chad: NO THATS NOT MY ANSWER!!!
Bob: IT’S CALL DEE FROM UP THE STREET!!!!!

Cut to Bob & Tyree in the Bonus Round
Ok It’s The Bonus Round Tyree you got 30 seconds on the clock to answer 5 questions.
Bob: Popular winter sport?
Tyree: Playstation
Bob: Most memorable moment of your life?
Tyree: First Piece of Azz
Bob: Good place for a first date
Tyree: My crib

(Cut to Bob & Tron already started in the bonus round 8 seconds on the clock)
Bob: Richest man in the U.S.
Tron: P. DIDDY!!!
Bob (3 seconds left): What do….
Tron: THEEEESSSEEE NUUUTSSSSS!!!!!
Buzzer sounds……
Bob: OK times up let’s see how you did.
Bob: Favorite winter sport…
Bob: Tron said…
Bob: Fuckin’
Bob: Survey says… 0
Bob: Most memorable moment of your life… Tron you said
Bob: Show me “Getting out of school”
Bob: Survey says 30
Tron: My momma whopped my azz when I dropped out.
Bob: Good place for a first date, You said “Holiday INN”
Bob: Survey says 15!!!
Bob: Richest man in America you said, “P. Diddy”
Bob: Survey says 20!!
Tron: YEAH I KEW THAT SH!T
Bob: Now you need 60 points to win the game & unfortunately you didn’t even listen to the last question.
Bob: But let’s look anyway… What… We asked what do parrots like to eat?
Bob: You said “NUTS”
Bob:Chad: Survey says 63 & THE MAD REAL WORDS WINS THE GAME!!!!

Posted by Pimpanese as Chappelle Show Sketches at 4:27 PM GMT

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How many of you know when you have a casual relationship with a chick… err… woman & you & your boy are obviously going on a week “Fuckfest” trip to the Bahamas or Daytona, & she says exactly the opposite of what she means…

Tron(on the phone): Oh yeah Tiff me & my boy Fayze are just going to be gone for 1 week
Fayze (in the back smoking a blunt)
Tiffany: Well just bring some condoms
Tron: Don’t be crazy girl… Why would I need condoms for?
Tiffany: Well you know people get crazy & I just want you to be protected just in case?
Tron: Hey bitch me & Fayze ain’t like THAT!!!
Fayze (Still smokin): Yo hang up on that bitch I gotta call my baby momma. She owe me $15
(Tron signalling him to stop)
Tiffany: No baby you know just in case, you know… With um… other women!!!
Tron: Nah baby you the only one…
Tiffany: Well just be careful baby.

Next cut to the plane Tron & Fayze’s Hotelroom
You see Tron & Fayze double, triple, & quadriple teaming various women. They even putting wresting holds on bitches in the room.

Tron get’s back & sees Tiffany at her job.

Tron: Hey baby I got ya something
Tiffany: Tron.. well were you careful?
Tron: Yeah girl we never travel with the uh… coke on us (whispering & looking around)… We get other people to do that…
Tiffany: No did you use protection?

Now in Tron’s brain he’s thinking IS she joking? Was I supposed to tell her about it? Is she down like THAT?

Tron: Yeah bitch we had a blast. We were tag teaming bitches & fucking bitches 2, three times a day!!!!
Tiffany (with blank look on her face): You fuckin ASSHOLE!!!!
Tron: Whaa I wore something…
Tiffany(still crying)
Tron: Don’t worry I didn’t BRING any of those bitches back wif me. I didn’t even give them my number.. I’m BACK girl…

Needless to say Tron NEVER got to hit THAT ass again in life. A lesson learned if ever a women ever tells you it’s OK to see, or sleep with another woman… LIE

— I have no affiliate with the Chappelle Show or Comedy Central. I am just a fan continuing to write comedy based on Dave’s Characters.

Posted by Pimpanese as Chappelle Show Sketches at 4:08 AM GMT

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New Urban Products

Dave’s Intro
Sometimes there needs to be products that are just catered to the Black Community that others might not understand the need for it. I mean I could look all day in the suburbs for a damn box of grits… I once went looking for Grits & the bitch tried to give me a box of fucking Cream of Wheat… I should have known what she was talking about when she said
“You mean the box with JJ on it”?
Really is Jimmy Walker getting Royalties from that shit?
Anyway here’s more black products…

Anyway here’s more Black products for the Urban Market…

Narator (White Voice): Has this ever happened to you?

Black Kid pulling a temper tantrum & throws down a vase on the flow.
Kid (stomping up & down): I WANT ICE CREAM, I WANT ICE CREAM!!!

… shot to Leonard Washington (DAVE) with cigarette hanging out of his mouth….

LEONARD: Now see son back in my day if my father saw me do something like he’d pull of his belt & whoop the shit outta me. Get your coat on let’s go to the store…

Kid: Oh yeah???

LEONARD: Yeah hurry up, now…

Walks to the stores, sees Leonard & the kid, the kids walking excitedly in as Leonard opens the door.

They continue walking down the isle with the ice cream machine & pass it.

KID: Dad we passed the ice cream..
LEONARD: That’s not what we came fo’….

You see Leonard picking up something
Narrator Voice:
Can’t spank your kid cause you’re afraid family services is gonna take your kid away?
Introducing “THE BELT”…. We take the guess work out of it, a leather strapped belt with plastic belt buckle that completely complies with city standards on what you can legally use to spank your children..

shot to kid looking nervous…

LEONARD: Now get your ASS HERE!!!!

Blurred images of LEONARD in the background whopping the kid & screams…

NARRATOR: “New THE BELT available at all local corner stores & introducing “The Switch” for a really good spanking…

Shot to LEONARD stopping & looking at the camera:

LEONARD: I don’t spank my kids, I whoop the shit outta my kids…..

Please be advised I have no affiliation with the Chappelle Show or Comedy Central. I’m just continuing with his characters.

Posted by Pimpanese as General, Chappelle Show Sketches at 4:03 AM GMT

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I used to know this Preacher by the name of Reverand JuneBug.

Let’s say he wasn’t your average preacher.

One day he started of his surmon like this.

And now Reverand JuneBug will take the alter…
Thank You Deacon Messness.

I just want to start by saying we are in the midst of troublin’ times.
You can’t even walk to the store no more without being harasssed for spare change.
And women… Oh you precious sweet thangs… sweet thangs.
I know what… What you been through.
You been stalked…
You been hurt…
You been lied to…
Cheated on…
You been promised thangs that …
That you wil never receive.. No suh Never receive.
Ya been stolen from…
Ya been tricked to steal for drugs…
Alkohol… Pain killers… Even Ho-Hos & snack cakes…
You been Fondled…
Made to lay up in Hotels…
Touched all up in the booty hole & various places…

& I’d just like to say I’m sorry.
Woooo boy that medication those doctors done gave me…

Now to todays surmon…
Deacon Messness.. Nigga turn my mike UP!!!!

Posted by Pimpanese as Comedy Sketches at 3:40 AM GMT

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Funny Mofos will be a site for all types of original… Note I said original comedy. Offbeat humor, current affairs to even us making new images & later video clips…

So give us a shout out if you like the material…

We had a forum before but stopped using the forum software because the server kept getting hacked..
Anyway things are all Cool & the Gang now…

Posted by Pimpanese as General at 3:32 AM GMT

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